Indian Politicians: The Devil wears White – 2

After sketching my appearance in part I of this blog, now I am detailing out my behaviour and thoughts.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. For starters, I garland this fellow in the morning of 2nd October (earlier I used to spend some time spinning khadi on this day, but now there aren’t any functional charkha around so saves me the time and the efforts to sit down) and forget about him for the rest of the year. I believe in “I shall be the change-maker for my own betterment, rest don’t exist”.

Public Speaking:

I can deliver an electoral speech, though there is not much change from what I would have said 10-15 years ago. People who are brought to attend my rallies actually never hear or remember what I say/have said in the past. Media will only report the attendance at my rallies and will take notice only if I say something that is controversial.

However, when it comes to any functional debate on subjects of education, health, infrastructure, jobs; apart from announcing freebies on behalf of the government, I cannot say anything else.

When it comes to speaking in the parliament / legislative assemblies, first I don’t attend them, and even if I have to, I attend to create a ruckus and to stall the proceedings; not for speaking.

In short, I shall speak in front of people, who cannot make head and tail of what I say and for the rest, my press releases shall suffice.

I win elections every 5 years:

I am limited to winning elections on my party’s behalf. As I have no experience leave aside the thoughts or the inclination for policy-level working or its execution, I do not get to be a part of the Council of Ministers for any heavy duty portfolio.

BJP has an absolute majority in the Lok Sabha of its own, with NDA partners, it is even much more. Yet, barring the 3 exceptions of Rajnath Singh, Sushma Swaraj and Nitin Gadkari, all the major ministers come from Rajya Sabha – Arun Jaitley, Nirmala Sitharaman, Piyush Goyal, Prakash Javadekar, Ravi Shankar Prasad, Dharmendra Pradhan, Suresh Prabhu, Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, JP Nadda, Smriti Irani and including the 2 new recruits – Hardeep Puri and KJ Alphons.

What does it mean? Does Narendra Modi not find enough talent from the elected members / they are not good enough / good talent as per Narendra Modi are not electable? Same was the case with Congress governments.

In State Governments, there is anyways hardly any work; so I can get appointed to any ministry, turn head over heels and nobody will notice.

Public Life:

I maintain a coterie of people around me, wherever I go.

Red beacon has been banned on the top of my vehicle, so I make do with the sirens of my pilot car, serves the same purpose. I travel only by the SUVs, that too only black in colour and tinted glasses.

I ensure that my importance gets judged by the security cover I have (actually, I have a threat from the well-wishers of this country and not the terrorist/enemy countries).

I attend the inaugurations, foundation laying ceremonies, marriages; other than that I do not have much of public life, it is more of private life and you are not privy to it. Supreme Court has ruled that the Right to Privacy is a fundamental right but Aadhaar is valid.

In the next and last part of this auto-biography applicable to Indian politicians, I shall detail out my views on ethics, morals and legacy.

I am an Indian politician. I wear white.

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